Joinsupermoms

Think about the first time you fell in love. The trust, the reckless abandon. Think of you now. The caution, the care. You step in with eyes wide open – if you step in at all.

Heartache, like many pains in life, can be a skill that you build and grow from and why not even thrive on? Singer Taylor Swift is a self-made multi billionaire thriving essentially on songs about heartbreak and recovery. Adele broke into the music stage with “Someone Like You”. Trauma brought her triumph.

So, if no pain no gain isn’t limited to the gym, here are 5 things you can do to grow from trauma to triumph.

Cut your losses and make the future count. Mistakes happen and perhaps you made one or perhaps life just happened as it sometimes will, but the current outcome isn’t what you hoped for or worse still its draining or killing you.  Is there anything you absolutely need to take with you from this situation? Then take it and nothing else. If its impossible to take it without causing further damage to yourself or to your loved ones, leave it and work out a sustainable plan to rebuild something better than it. Basically, cut that umbilical cord and focus on building a new positive outcome.

Re-evaluate your personality. There’s so much talk about quitting toxic situations and toxic people, but could the toxicity be coming from you? Have an honest re-encounter with yourself and try to understand why you feel the emotions you do. Try and be objective and imagine how you would react to someone who acted the way you do.

Learn a new skill. This is very personal because it must be something you enjoy. Most importantly, it must be something that adds value to you. It could even be a hobby you have been meaning to hone. I love learning languages and there are lots of opportunities in applying language or culture to just about any skill. But what about you? You may find your appetite in an online course if your hands are already full in the physical world, or you might be able to find a new community at an in-person training that fits well into your schedule.

Own your trauma. Trauma is the new skill, and we like to add value to our skills. We learn, improve, and even monetise them. Try not to see your trauma in a negative light. By no means should you have to re-live it – except perhaps for some legal, compensatory reason – but you can come to terms with it to the point where it becomes the force that makes you positively unique and even special. It becomes a contributory part of your decisions, without you having to relive it or hurt from it. But make sure, whichever way you own it, makes you a better version of yourself.

Reward your little triumphs. Take baby steps in setting short term goals and give yourself a star each time you reach one. For me, a copious scoop of flavourful pistachio ice-cream does the trick. And that could be a scoop on any continent, in any city under a soothing sunshine in nature’s care. Every little triumph counts. The important thing is to be consistent in working toward your goals so you can achieve them!

In the end, there are ways to work through our trauma and come out better from a negative event. If you feel you’ve done your very best at some or all these tips and you need to talk to a professional, that’s important too. Subscribe to receive our step-by-step guide called Thriving after Trauma or to speak directly to a licenced professional.