Joinsupermoms

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

If I could give my teenage self some advice, it’d be that it’s time to love being yourself because you are enough.

Ever seen a volcano suck in its own larva just before it spewed out the top? The volcano was part of a mountain range. Some volcanoes in the range had started erupting but others had spewed larva so high this mountain felt intimidated.

That was my teenage self. Teeming with ideas but never good enough to share.

When you’re a teen, everything is so novel and uncharted. You feel you have to catch up with it all. No you don’t. You are enough.

Then there’s the pressure to catch up with only what’s popular or die from looking ignorant.

Master being enough now

The trouble is, no one ever actually died from looking ignorant and eventually you learn – albeit a little too late in life – that we’re all a tad ignorant.

The trick is to refine your authentic self and serve it to others in fair doses.

If you don’t learn now to be comfortable in your own skin, it will transcend into adulthood. You could have trouble being assertive or even speaking up for yourself.

You could even develop a personality complex that makes you unpleasant to live or work with it.

So if you’re a teenager (and my little voice in my head rolls her eyes because uncommon is the teenager who would be reading a mom blog), start now to love being yourself because you are enough.

I wish I had someone to tell me this when I was a teen. Knowing you are enough is a state of mind that guarantees success in adulthood.

Here are 4 pieces of advice I would give my teenage self to guarantee success in adulthood.

Practice public speaking

In interpreter training, you’re told to record yourself and review the recording.

It’s one of the most dreadful exercises you’ll ever have to practice. Particularly if you don’t like the sound of your voice. But it works.

Practice saying things until they come out right. Listen to yourself and make sure what you said, is what you meant. Ignore how your voice sounds. Focus first on getting out with clarity what you need to say.

It helps to watch and listen to seasoned public speakers and learn from them. You could even stand in front of a mirror and visualise how you want to appear while saying what you have to say.

Research your idea

Just because I enjoy being a bore sometimes, I actually fancy reading studies and reviewing research around random topics. I can still never get over the pages of bibliography that sometimes exceed the pages of actual study findings!

I’m like, if there’s so much existing literature around this topic, what was the point of the study?

Wrong. Research tells you what existing knowledge there is around your idea and where knowledge may be lacking. It helps you analyse the method of each study and query wether or not existing findings are viable.

Knowing how much has already gone into your idea is humbling, which is healthy so you’re not blindly obnoxious when you share your views. But it also demonstrates you have empirical authority to validate your idea. People start listening.

Most of all, confidence building your knowledge and sharing it reinforces to you that you are enough.

Yes, we’re all ignorant but some are less ignorant than others. Demonstrate that, by doing your research. You might even stumble on a niche of particular interest to you and who knows…you might save the world.

Just saying.

Take a chill pill…except on mental health

I’d tell my teenage self to chillax. Teenage is fun and games, just play responsibly. By the time the fun is over, you’ll be all grown up, and if you researched smartly, some certification or degree will be smiling at you.

While you’re having fun and games, no dares or adventures you’re uncomfortable with. Most importantly no dares or adventures the police would be uncomfortable with.

And please stay away from adults who dangle shiny prospects at you in return for a hefty price. Your time will come. No need to sell your soul. It’s the only one you have, so don’t trade it.

Don’t take yourself too seriously, don’t fall in love too seriously (we saw how that ended for Romeo and Juliet). Just enjoy it. No sacred oaths, no commitments, just please chillax.

Don’t get annoyed too seriously (we see how random school shootings play out in the US) but do pay attention to your mental health (depression is a disease that can and should be treated. You don’t have to suffer alone).

Every problem blows over eventually. Just don’t be in the explosion. Always have a safe corner to sit, sip your favourite drink and chill in.

Make sure your parents know your safe corner. So if we need to, we can find you. We love you with everything in our bones.

Practice Discipline, Life is beautiful

Finally, I would tell myself that life is beautiful and teenage is just a phase. Don’t ruin your entire life fussing over one phase of it.

Draw up a roadmap to your goals and work out actions you need to stay on track with your goals. Discipline yourself to develop and maintain good habits.

Make the best of teenage years. If it isn’t beautiful now, it will be beautiful later. In life, everyone gets a chance at beautiful. You just have to plan and believe in it.

And only the disciplined can device and stick to a plan.