I bet you’ve been guilty of believing any of the many single parenting stereotypes. Hopefully you’ve not been a victim of any negative ones. Wherever you fall, I’m hoping you can be a part of the positive change and upend negative single parent stereotypes.
If someone keeps saying the same thing to you long enough, you may begin to believe and act on it. That’s the problem with verbal abuse. It’s also the problem with stereotypes. If people keep projecting on you long enough, there’s a good chance you might start acting out. So, beware of abuse-induced failures and determine to upend negative single parent stereotypes.
In a world of stereotypes, single moms may forget that success – not self-destruction – is the sweetest vengeance. We may begin to act on negative stereotypes and reverse the positive difference we’ve made. “Although children in poor quality marriages are no better off than the single and, indeed, may fare worse on some measures“, single parents are considered unfortunate. Little wonder that societal norms presume that a successful parent is always one of two.
People considered novel or unusual are often the victims of unfair blame. And that’s how they end up “unfortunate”. So, a rise in the cost of housing, that’s the tourists’ fault. Violence and inflation, the immigrant’s fault. Intolerance, the Arab’s fault…and so on.
Happily, every now and then, life will teach society otherwise. So, there was an assassination attempt on a US presidential candidate. The shooter wasn’t a person of “colour”, wasn’t Arab, wasn’t Muslim, and wasn’t an undocumented immigrant.
It proves that while stereotypes may not be unfounded, they are unfair. In the battle to upend negative single parent stereotypes, self-development – not self-destruction – is the best revenge.
Common Stereotypes and how to upend them
Stereotype 1: All single parents are unemployed and struggling:
Actually, this one is tricky, considering that being unemployed and struggling financially could mean enjoying benefits, privileges and generosity where there would otherwise have been none. Sorry to burst your bubble if you’re the charity seeking kind, but statistically, most single parents are gainfully employed or running their own businesses. So, you might just end up irritating your donors.
Upend the negative single parent stereotype. We’d like to keep the statistics here positive. Join the club of gainfully employed or financially stable single parents. Find a job or be your own boss. You can start by making money teaching something you love. Don’t be one of those feeding this false stereotype.
Stereotype 2: All single parents are single in love, lonely and looking to mingle.
There is an assumption that single parenthood is a result of promiscuity or poor moral choices. So single parents are single because they can’t commit or endure the responsibilities of a relationship. Want to guess one of the highest cause of break-ups in marriage? Infidelity. So, really, who’s making the poor moral choices and not committing?
Culture seldom acknowledges that a single parent is taking a conscious moral action. Sometimes protecting themselves and their children from an abusive predator. Single parenting is seldom associated with life-saving positive choices and conscientious plans to succeed solo. Escape from toxicity and trauma is in fact a major reason some of us choose single parenting.
Some single parents are happy to focus on growing and loving themselves without a romantic partner. Other single parents enjoy a dignified romance within clearly defined boundaries.
Upend the negative single parent stereotype. Show the world how conscientious you are. Plan for any type of parenting. If you find yourself in the single parenting arena, choose your friendship and love circles intentionally. Don’t be too quick to accept every friend request and certainly do not settle for relationships worth less the time, energy and investment you put in yourself. If people choose to label you, Let Them, while you focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
The Let Them Theory draws you closer to emancipating yourself from the opinions and judgements of others. That way you can focus on learning skills and achieving goals that best serve you and your child.
Stereotype 3: All single parents are women.
I think this is grossly a result of decades of society shaming men for taking on traditional childcare and domestic roles. The reality is much different, and men make some of the greatest single parents.
Upend the negative single parent stereotype. If you’re a single dad, wear your superhero dad cloak with pride. Understand your child’s needs and provide practical emotional and well-rounded support. Show up, be there. Single dads are as great as any successful single parent.
Sign up to an Essential Plan now and get your free Productivity Masterclass for Single Dads and learn how to harness your time, energy and effort towards the best single parenting.
Most stereotypes are myths you can bust by just being yourself and living your life focused and planned. Whatever treatment you’re enduring as a result of negative single parent stereotypes, remember, don’t give in. Don’t self-destruct. Fight back with a killer plan, focus, and determination to live your best life and upend it.
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