Joinsupermoms

What’s your definition of romantic?

If you’re rocking the single life, why review your declaration of independence? Well, it’s because romance pops up in the most unexpected places. But love is not blind. You need not go in unprepared.

Think about why solo parenting is gaining traction. Romance in its strictest sense is overrated. So, let’s talk about what’s not romantic. Here are 5 romance red flags not to overlook before relinquishing your declaration of independence.

These romance red flags leave us irritated, exhausted or even unhappy in a relationship. Sometimes, they make you want to stay single altogether.

Intellect

Problem solving is a soft skill that is often rare to find. At first it might feel romantic, even heroic to be the one who always rescues the situation, but after a while it could get exhausting.

Sometimes it’s great to have someone who is street smart, quick at strategizing and who offers plausible options to resolving an issue.

Initiative

People who take initiative are observant. They won’t wait for you to point out that this needs to be done or that worked the last so let’s try it again. They just do the right thing at the right time because they’ve observed what the issues are.

They will bring you breakfast in bed if they’ve observed that’s what keeps a smile on your face. They will hold hands, do the dishes, compliment your looks, mow the lawn, wash the car, get a menial job if that is the solution. They need to be schooled in the common sense of just how to be a human being.

Money

Being financially responsible is not at all common. This is an asset. Don’t settle for less with this one. Romantic means your partner thinks protection first. You can’t thrive in love homeless and hungry or destitute and sick.

Knowing how to make and manage money is a definite romantic trait. It’s a sign of responsibility. Romance is a privilege that comes with responsibility.

Bad Habits

Bad habits betray a basic lack of courtesy, so, for example, I can’t stand a messy person. Not because messiness often comes with low hygiene but because I can’t find anything. I can’t innovate, I can’t think.

At first it might be cute to pick up a few things here and there, but after a while it’s just plain irritating to always have to pick up after the other person. I’m not saying your romantic other needs to be finicky tidy. But certainly set aside dirty laundry (a cute laundry basket wouldn’t hurt) and be desk tidy.

Moodiness

Everyone gets into a mood or other. But be emotionally intelligent and control your moods. I wouldn’t settle on this either.

If your partner is too moody to watch their language, that’s a red flag. Tensions may run high and speaking respectfully may become a challenge but know your boundaries and don’t settle for less. Some people opt for the silent treatment. Are you 10?

If your partner can’t talk through an issue objectively and can’t help but punish you beyond a few seconds of moodiness, well that’s a red flag.

That’s it for my romance red flags. In my view, solo parenting is great. If you meet a partner that ticks all your boxes, that’s great too.

Watch out for your romance red flags and don’t settle. Because, make no mistake, you’re better happy single than coupled and miserable.