Joinsupermoms

If I could host a dinner and anyone I invite was sure to come, I would invite my younger self. At this dinner with my younger self, I would tell me it’s okay to be myself, that it’s okay to cry. That being young is a phase and not the end of the world but that everyday I should do a little something that makes me feel proud.

I would tell me that falling in love is overrated and it’s really okay to be single. But that the only way to experience the life changing bliss of raising my amazing beautiful children, is to fall in love, get married, hurt and divorced. That sometimes the sweetest happiness comes after a stabbing pain. And so I shouldn’t see pain as something to be avoided, but as a warning that something good is to come. I could wait, fix or flee.

My younger self doesn’t wait in pain, so I would tell me to follow her heart. I know she will choose to fix it. What she cannot fix, she will flee from.

Then I would introduce my younger self to my beautiful daughters, just because they’ve always asked what it was like to be their age. But also because my younger self needs to see these gems, these beautiful people she’s raised. I’d say, You did that, dude! And she would cry, and I’d hug her.

At dinner with my younger self, I would tell me to prepare for the ungrateful. People will experience life enhancing achievement because of you, because of something you gave, said or did. But they won’t thank you. Some will be nice, others will envy, some might even hate.

Don’t try to kill yourself, I’d say to me. You’re beautiful. You’re smart, you’re funny and the room lights up when you’re in it.

Stay alive, keep doing right by you, I’d say, everything will be just fine.

I won’t cheat, I won’t try to change my past by changing my younger self. At dinner, I won’t tell her who to talk to or who not to. Where to go or where not to.

I’d just hope that whatever I said to her at dinner keeps her stronger…gives my present self pause. Because sometimes when I hurt so much from ungrateful people or start second guessing my effort or when I start wondering what might have been….

Everything changes when I realise I really don’t want to change anything. I love myself, I love my life. And yet so many times as my younger self, I almost lost it.