Joinsupermoms

Health and Wellness

Raising a child alone can be a matter of choice or circumstance. Some people plan to have or adopt a child even as they are single.

If that is your case, you’ve made a noble decision you should be proud of and here is a link to baby registry must haves that could inspire you if you’re having a baby.

In other cases, circumstances including assault, abuse or mere lack of planning have blessed us with beautiful little feet in our hands. All of these are life changing because willingly or unwillingly you give up a part of your life for another person.

Most times though, single parenting is a result of loss of a partner to breakup, abandonment, or death, either of which could be extremely traumatic because you have lost a part of your everyday life.

Losing a part of your life for any reason can be painful and recovery as slow as learning to walk again after an accident.

It happens all too often, so don’t ever feel embarrassed, alone, or guilty. Also, you’re not competing with anyone, so don’t compare yourself to Sister Jane who has been “happily” married for 30 years with 7 children. Trust me, Sister Jane is highly likely dealing with other traumas she is covertly grieving from. Life gives us all our share of lemons. It’s not a competition.

Start by giving yourself time to grieve. It’s a healthy and essential part of your recovery process. Try to surround yourself with resourceful people. You can read here on how to build a resourceful support system.

You will need people who can respect your decision and where you are unable to cover costs yourself, a resourceful support system can provide actionable assistance when you need it: A place to get away to or suggestions on where to go, child sitting, a job or short supply or service contract to cover the immediate costs, help with shopping, meals, picking up the kids from school etc.

Whatever your situation, it’s important to grieve and reflect on what was lost. Perhaps why it was lost and how you can move forward. There is no timeframe for grief. You get to take all the time you need.

What there is a timeframe for is the time you spend in a period of inertia, on lost motivation and willingness to live. Finding your motivation is hard. But you can do it, if you force your mind to continually divert from negative thoughts whenever they come up. The more you do it, the more control you get over your mindset, thoughts, and actions.

One way to start is with a mini project like reading a book. I recommend Tiny Beautiful Things – Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. It’s a compilation of straight answers to the deepest questions, its honest, full of the right dose of comedy and healing.

Another thing that works for many of us is travel. If possible, get away to different environment, even culture or lifestyle. Discover nature, breathe new air.

If you can begin to conquer your mind by diverting from negative to positive thoughts and progressing to routine daily activities such as reading, even completing a book, or discovering a new destination, you’re well on your way to becoming a supermom.

Sometimes you’ll need a nudge or a little help from a medical professional to ease you into recovery. Never with the aim to shorten your period of grief, but with the aim of helping you return to the necessary routines of everyday life. Do not be afraid to talk to a therapist if your grief is preventing you from resuming your necessary daily functions

This is the beginning of a fresh start, a new you, so you must define new goals, new motivations, and a new reason to keep trying at life.

Probably your main reason to keep trying at life is your child. Its every supermom’s main reason. We bring these bundles of joy to the world and they’re waiting on us to just keep breathing. You stop trying, they stop breathing. Remember that. You are special because you brought someone into this world and that someone needs you to navigate and succeed in their own life.

Grief could be a lifelong process, so you don’t want to lose momentum during periods when spurts of energy, motivation and positivity come up. As soon as you recover from that delicate stage of inertia and can redefine yourself, here are 3 things I did very quicky and I suggest you try them too:

Multitask. Process your loss, feeling through the highs and lows of pain and grief but protect and nurture your child at the same time. As soon as you can get back on your feet, begin to relieve your support system of their roles by getting involved in your child’s daily life.

Diet is primary on my list because eating healthy just jumpstarts the body for the day. Best of all, it saves you from expensive trips to the doctor. So, if you can, design a healthy menu and try to stick to it. Organise your freezer with baskets or portion containers so you can easily reach out for prepared dinners and serve them soon after a school day. Breakfast may be as simple as cereal, a light sandwich or a fruit.

Read your child a book before bed, help with the homework or just sit in the park or room and watch them play. Resume school drop offs and pick-ups if you need to and slowly start to reintegrate with the world bringing in the new you.

Finally on my core list is health. I have been blessed to meet and work with doctors who really listen, pay attention to detail, and treat clients with holistic wellness and long-term well-being in mind. You can team up with one of our recommended medical professionals here.

This site is full of expert researched ways to ease into the new you. Our goal is to highlight the rewards of single parenting and give you access to some of the best professionals in healthcare.

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